Marian @ Krysan


Planting Golden Seeds in Northumberland, Tyne & Wear, and Durham



of unseen visions and heard silences, this insubstantial country of the mind?  What ineffable essences, these touchless rememberings and unshowable reveries?  And the privacy of it all!




Unseen Visions & Heard Silences 


Marian Moore


Healing words ...

The power of human beings to affect one another in ways beyond reason and beyond merit has offended rationalists and moralists since the dawn of thought, but it is partly what yields to us that sense of human individuality which we express when we say that human beings are unique and irreplaceable. Such attachments, and the joy and the grief which they may cause, condition our sense of the preciousness of human beings. Love is the most important of them."  


A breakdown ...

Dear Friend,

I am honoured to have you join me on yet another inquiry.  At the outset, it involves me in going back in time to the years 1989 to 2001. These were the middle years of my life when I experienced the 'dark night of the soul'. During this time, with the best will in the world, you could not have helped me. I was untouchable in fear and anguish as I engaged in an unequal conflict with 'unseen visions and heard silences'.  An outcast in my own land, in my own time, and in my own mind.  

In my own reality, but never alone.

Some of you reading this will also know first-hand of the terror, anguish and perplexity of a 'nervous breakdown', for too many an unfathomable spiritual crisis serious enough to make people turn away from you, serious enough to set you apart as 'the other', serious enough to find yourself labelled 'psychotic' (or worse), serious enough to have cocktails of pills forced upon you until little of the 'essential you' remains - for some, nothing is left. Recovery is simply the unreachable dream.  

And, the privacy of it all. 

Love, courage, work ...

Encapsulated in a few telling words and a tiny sliver of time, this then was the raw experience of a mental breakdown that was to transform my life in more ways than one.  Thankfully, my voices and visions belong now to the past; consigned to an alternative reality - not for me. The long years of my recovery have been (and still are) years of joyful discovery. Golden people with a price above rubies constantly happen my way. I stand in awe of them and celebrate a kind (ever-powerful) compassionate Cosmos.  

We learn together and magic ensues.  

Of course, there have been ups and downs - no one ever said it would be easy, or even that my recovery would ever be possible.  My decision?  A spiritual seeker and activist, I have looked at life from many and diverse angles.  In my quest for enlightenment, I have read book after book; attended course after course; conversed with person after person; dreamt dream after dream. Even, researched (and written) blog after blog!  That I am able to create this today is a sign of progress undreamt of a few years back. Be assured, love is the answer - to everything.  

And, work!  And, courage! 

A breakthrough ...

In the year 2001, a miracle occurred in my home when a three-year-old (finally) reclaimed her grandmother.  After twelve years, I got my life back; my husband got his wife back; and two young people got their mother back. Was this then the Master's hand at work? What I do know for certain is that viewing life in the round and with a newly 'appreciative gaze' has to be a blessing, part of another wellbeing package that overwhelms the senses.

But this time, overwhelmed in a 'good' way.

This leads me to 'The Inevitable Book', one written by a wordsmith more skilled than I at capturing 'the big picture' of voices and visions. Tales from the Madhouse by retired nurse/psychologist, Dr. Gary Sidley, is viewed as a breakthrough in the field of mental health nursing ... and as heralding a renewed zeal for sharing the milk of human kindness more generously than has been the case in some well-publicised quarters.

As above, so below?

Healing words ...

For me, the power of Sidley's book comes from the way he combines exploration and critiques with a string of essentially human tales that bring to life the damage caused by the status quo.  Reading each tale, my heart is as engaged as my head as Sidley shares the everyday interactions that demonstrate how our good intentions are often tainted by a paradigm that is ultimately flawed.  I challenge anyone to read this book and say, without reservation, that there is nothing wrong in the way we understand and support those of us who are most distressed and overwhelmed.


Re-thinking psychosis ...

Both Gary Sidley (the writer) and Rai Waddingham (the activist) made memorable contributions to a conference at Van Mildert College in Durham only a few days ago.  But, someone who has made a lasting impression on me from years back is psychologist/researcher, DrIsabel Clarke.  In her 2010 book, Psychosis and Spirituality Revisited, she describes the connection between spirituality and psychosis as 'neither new nor surprising'.  For Isabel Clarke, the challenge lies in linking the highest realms of human consciousness and the depths of madness.  She describes this link as being 'uncomfortable to many' and requiring a radical rethinking of the nature of both psychosis and spirituality.

No arguing with that. 

Isabel Clarke's pioneering work in 2010 (and before) mentions a 'reconceptualisation of psychosis' as being set to move the mental health system towards a paradigm shift'.  She points to being 'constantly confronted with the damage to hope and sense of self that the prevailing conceptualisation of psychosis produces'. She brings to the fore 'a research explosion that is producing evidence for the development of new, more valuing and less stigmatising ways of working with people who have received that diagnosis'.

Watch out for 'Facilitating a Maastricht Assessment Centre'.  PETER BULLIMORE.

Mental health nursing ...

I mention the work of Isabel Clarke as the conclusions to which she comes (given the copious research evidence) seem inescapable. 'The apparatus of labelling, stigmatising and presenting medication as the only option is creating more and more persistent and serious dysfunctions than it aims to relieve.' Significantly, the 2015 Durham Conference I spoke of earlier was directed at the noble calling of Mental Health Nursing.  The Conference programme was surely 'designed to introduce new and creative conceptualisation and attitudes, which in turn can open the door to new and more creative treatment and response'. CLARKE (2010).  

Watch out for 'Open Dialogue in the UK'.  RUSSELL RAZZAQUE.

Well done to Peter Bullimore and Russell Razzaque and all those other agents of change who travelled North to speak their truth clearly and with conviction to a rapt audience on a beautiful day in DURHAM. However, I must stress, I am not an academic, a psychologist, a therapist or a nurse.  I am simply an outsider looking in: with a fresh pair of eyes; with a safe pair of hands; and a renewed zest for life. I also have a voice to be heard. The best advice I can give to the suffering people struggling with 'unseen visions and heard silences', is to heed the words of the poet, 'this too shall pass away'.

Prognosis: good.

This, too, shall pass away ...

  • A poem
  • by Theodore Tilton

Once in Persia reigned a King,
Who upon his signet ring
Graved a maxim true and wise,
Which, if held before his eyes,
Gave him counsel at a glance,
Fit for every change and chance.
Solemn words, and these are they;
"Even this shall pass away."

Trains of camels through the sand
Brought him gems from Samarkand;
Fleets of galleys through the seas
Brought him pearls to match with these;
But he counted not his gain,
Treasures of the mine or main;
"What is wealth?" the king would say;
"Even this shall pass away."

Mid the revels of his court,
At the zenith of his sport,
When the palms of all his guests,
Burned with clapping at his jests,
He, amid his figs and wine;
Cried, 'O loving friends of mine;
Pleasures come, but not to stay;
"Even this shall pass away."
Lady, fairest ever seen,
Was the bride he crowned his queen.
Pillowed on his marriage bed,
Softly to his soul he said:
Though no bridegroom ever pressed;
Fairer bosom to his breast,
Mortal flesh must come to clay-
"Even this shall pass away."
Fighting on a furious field,
Once a javelin pierced his shield;
Soldiers, with a loud lament,
Bore him bleeding to his tent.
Groaning from his tortured side,
"Pain is hard to bear," he cried;
"But with patience, day by day,
Even this shall pass away.".
Towering in the public square,
Twenty cubits in the air,
Rose his statue carved in stone.
Then the king, disguised, unknown,
Stood before his sculptured name,
Musing meekly: "What is fame?"
Fame is but a slow decay;
Even this shall pass away.
Struck with palsy, sore and old,
Waiting at the Gates of Gold,
Said he with his dying breath,
"Life is done, but what is death?"
Then, in answer to the king,
Fell a sun beam on his ring,
Showing by a heavenly ray,
"Even this shall pass away."


    • Marian Moore (2015)
    • Psychiatric Survivor/Storyteller 
    • This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.




"I am a hole in a flute that the Christ’s breath moves through. Listen to this music.”  




Aide Memoir (1)

  • Book: Tales from the Madhouse: An insider critique of psychiatric services
  • Author: Gary Sidley (2015)
  • Publisher: to order go to www-books.co.uk


Aide Memoir (2)

  • Book: Psychosis and Spirituality: Consolidating the New Paradigm
  • Author: Isabel Clarke (2010)
  • Publisher: A John Wiley & Sons Ltd. Publication (Chichester)


Aide Memoir (3)

  • Book: Communion with God: An uncommon dialogue
  • Author: Neale Donald Walsch (2000)
  • Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton 


Artwork (4)

  • Painting: Daffodils at Alnmouth Beach 
  • Artist: Sue Fenton 
  • Source: The Biscuit Factory website, Newcastle upon Tyne


More (5)

For INSPIRATION, go to http://www.krysan.org/index.php/wayne-w-dyer





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"Finally, what I do know for certain is that viewing life in the round and with a newly 'appreciative gaze' has to be a blessing, part of a wellbeing package that overwhelms the senses. 


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