MEMORIES R US

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Created on Tuesday, 27 May 2014 11:20

Written by Marian Moore

2014-09-25

 

Marian @ Krysan

THE WELLBEING CONSULTANCY

Planting Golden Seeds in Northumberland, Tyne & Wear, and Durham

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 Memories R Us

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 Man is ultimately self-determining.  What he becomes - within the limits of endowment and environment - he has made out of himself.  

VIKTOR FRANKL

 

 

   

ON BECOMING

'MY BEST POSSIBLE SELF'

(A Journey of Discovery)

by

Marian Moore (Storyteller)

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KEY CONCEPTS

Positive Psychology | My Best Possible Self | I Dreamed a Dream| Creative Ageing | A Beacon of Hope | The Master's Hand? | A Quest for Meaning | Finally ...

KEY WORDS

wellbeing | business | psychology | happiness | dignity | courage | work | ageing | joy | recovery | laughter | memories | choice 

 

Positive Psychology

In 2008, I set up my own wellbeing consultancy.  I celebrate this event today simply because it is still going strong six years on - and, despite the odds, so am I.  With hindsight, I believe that I did all the right things to ensure success: business plan, website, marketing, advertising, laptop computer - everything. 'Everything' also meant pursuing a burgeoning passion for Positive Psychology and eagerly grabbing with both hands the chance to enrol on a Positive Psychology course using distance learning techniques.

My Best Possible Self

it was there on that groundbreaking CAPP course, that I discovered a Positive Psychology optimism strategy called, My Best Possible Self.  This writing exercise is described by its author as 'the keeping of a private journal'.  She goes on to say:

"There are many ways to practice optimism, but the one that has been empirically shown to enhance wellbeing is the original Best Possible Selves diary method. To try it out, sit in a quiet place, and take 20 to 30 minutes to think about what you expect your life to be one, five or 10 years from now. Visualize a future for yourself in which everything has turned out the way you’ve wanted. You have tried your best, worked hard and achieved all your goals. Now write down what you imagine.

"This writing exercise in a sense puts your optimistic “muscles” into practice. Even if thinking about the brightest future for yourself doesn’t come naturally at first, it may get there with time and training. Amazing things can come about as a result of writing. William Faulkner reportedly once said, “I never know what I think about something, until I read what I’ve written on it.” You may discover new insights into yourself as you write about your future and your goals. Keeping a journal may even be a way of cultivating patience and persistence."  SONJA LYUBOMIRSKY

Blogging in the public domain, as I do, is yet another a way of cultivating the signature strengths of patience and persistence - even courage!  It's worth noting here that another name for Positive Psychology happens to be the Study of Wellbeing.  In some quarters, it's also known as the Science of Happiness.  It's also worth bearing in mind that, as a sole trader, I am 'the business' - we are inseparable.  Its very existence depends on me.  And, that's the way I like it.

 I Dreamed a Dream 

And so, I set out on my Journey of Discovery in the year 2008.  Krysan for Wellbeing was, at this time, a small business start-up - and it was all a very long shot. The (vast?) potential of Positive Psychology had not yet been realised in the marketplace. Things have changed dramatically in the interim and, on reflection, I am fortunate in turning a dream into a reality in the 'twilight of my life'. Fast forward to now and this is how I described my current work commitments in a recent blog. (See BORN A LADY)"

.... both my mother and my sister were to live out their days with dementia.  It is in remembrance of their dignity and courage that I have worked to become, over several years, My Best Possible Self:

• A wellbeing consultant/webmaster/writer/speaker
• An elected governor for a North East NHS Foundation Trust 
• An Older Leader for Change in mental health (OL4C)
• A Time to Change Champion, and as of now -
• A Dementia Friend

I don't make a lot of money; that was never the intention. But, what wealth I do create is the result of my own efforts. I take delight in experiencing life in its many guises and, once again, I do have a life. That's what counts. Here's an astute observation on the 'reward of labour' for you to consider, "The reward of labour is life; is that not enough?"  WILLIAM MORRIS

Creative Ageing

More than half of my work today is gift (or voluntary) work and thus unpaid.  Nevertheless, in my book, it is demanding of the same respect and commitment as my paid work.  This is also true of the chunk of time I spend on study work (reading and writing), and the time I spend on home work (household chores). 

As I go about my daily business, I make no secret of the fact that I am intent on ageing without growing old. That, of course, suggests (at least) to me a positive attitude, an iPad, a website, and good old-fashioned nous! With these (and you) for company, perhaps I can indeed work on turning ageing into the art of growing old.  

In relation to the ageing process itself, surely it does not have to condemn us folks of a certain age to a life of solitude, suffering, degradation, or dependency. Like many of my friends, I firmly believe that if we can maintain energy in our hearts, and a belief in the power of joy and human warmth, this can transform us and the way we look at the world.  Creative ageing is my goal. This is also known as ageing with vitality. (See  GUARDIAN ANGELS)

A Beacon of Hope

When I became so very, very ill long ago in 1989, I lost more than my job, income and friends - I totally lost the positive image I previously had of myself.  Some of you reading this may be in the same boat, right now. Here then is some good news on changing your self-image, this taken from an article dropped into my computer 'inbox' this very day.  Serendipitous occurrences are always appearing in my life (and hopefully in yours)! 

To continue, the writer says,

"The image you hold of yourself determines your success or failure in everything. Ponder it for a moment. What do you really think about yourself? Do you like you? Are you able to think of yourself as one who succeeds in all or most objectives, or does the idea that you can't do it dominate your conscious thoughts?

"If you have accepted an idea of inferiority concerning your looks, your talents, or your ability to make and keep friends or be successful, then you better stop and rethink your position. Be assured, in many ways, you are quite extraordinary. You are different. There is no other single being in the universe exactly like yourself. You innately have talents and new approaches to reality that no one else can match!

"Know that every soul in human form is divine. Some human souls display the radiance of their identity and divinity more clearly than others; it is their time and their season. Yours is only a thought and an action away!  It is an infinite truism - you have no limitations except the ones you have accepted and thus imposed upon yourself."  DR. MICHAEL RUSS

It is always good to be reminded that, in planning for our future Best Possible Selves, we 'have no limitations other than those we impose on ourselves'.  This has to light a beacon of hope in the most broken of hearts; the most damaged of minds.

The Master's Hand?

Recovery.

Broken hearts and damaged minds can and do heal. I, and many others throughout the ages, can vouch for that. It takes time, patience, and persistence! As I emerged from crisis after crisis over many years, the things that helped me most/kept me going was the compassionate care of a multitude of NHS/NTW mental health professionals who never, ever gave up (thankfully, a given), and also the echoing of that same enduring love in:

1. family, friends and neighbours
2. peer support from other patients
3. reading books on psychology, philosophy, and spirituality
4. writing blogs for a world-wide audience (you), and
5. a much celebrated 'epiphany' moment (See I WONDER ...)
   

What have I learned?

By nature, I have a tendency towards 'impulsiveness' and, during my journey of discovery, I have learned the value of 'caution', that is, of keeping self (and others) safe and not always taking things (and people) at face value (a massive shift).  

I have also discovered (or re-discovered!) that you have to laugh. Laughter is good for you. And, that's official. Significantly, the research shows that laughter has a positive impact on the various systems of the body and helps to remove the negative effects of stress. Five years ago, I trained as a Laughter Yoga Leader and even surprised myself. A real challenge!  (See TASTE OF LAUGHTER)

Love yourself (and the world)!

In concentrating on what's right with me (and the world), rather than dwelling on what's wrong with me (and the world), I have learned to love myself (and the world) - once more. And, that's crucial. My natural sense of humour has now returned and equilibrium has gradually been restored to my life - another massive shift.  And, so my family and I breathe easily.

In relation to my writings - like more famous scribes before me - I never know what I think about something, until I read what I’ve written on it!  Worth the effort of getting it right and of sharing my journey (and often private insights) with the world? Thankfully, I am repaid every-day, and in every-way, a thousand-fold ...

The Master's Hand at work in my life?  I believe this to be so.

A Quest for Meaning 

Great writers inspire and so I include here more wise words from VIKTOR FRANKL.  Frankl's experiences in Auschwitz during World War II reinforced what was already one of his key ideas: life is not primarily a quest for pleasure as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning.