A KISS FROM A ROSE

On the one hand, there was the sad news of the death of the second best-selling author in this country (after J. K. Rowling), Sir Terry Pratchett. Sir Terry died of early-onset Alzheimer's disease at just sixty-six years of age, but still embracing the world in his customary full-on way.

On the other hand, I was gifted a little book of poetry entitled, Daisy Poems by Wendy McNay. And, yes, the two events are related as Wendy McNay also lived out her days with Alzheimer's disease. Though not as visible as the beloved Sir Terry Pratchett, the equally beloved Mrs McNay quietly embraced the world with joy to the end.

Both were blessed with caring families ... the secret ingredient ... amazing grace ...

Recent research shows that poetry provides a medium for those with dementia to speak out about their experiences of living with the disease. Those like my grandmother with medium-state dementia who can no longer write poetry can be assisted to do so. After hearing a talk by John Killick, a poet, who has made 'poems out of the world of people with dementia for the past fifteen years', I decided that I would try to co-facilitate poetry with Granny.

The wider context of our being together and having a cup of tea was crucial to creating and sharing the poems. Therefore I made a point of starting the poetry session each time with this. I then suggested to Granny a theme such as 'going to the seaside when a child' and we explored this memory together. After that, we started the poem.

If Granny had difficulty thinking of a first line, I asked leading questions: Why did you like going to the seaside? Did you take a bucket to the seaside? What colour was it? Ususually after a short time, Granny got into a flow, and she did not need me to ask leading questions as often.

These poems all record Granny's own words. I just wrote down what she said. I read the poem aloud back to her as it grew, so that she would be reminded of what she had said. Afterwards I gave Granny a printed copy of the poem.

The poems offered helpful benefits by enabling Granny to convey the subjective reality of dementia and by restoring personhood and dignity. (RVA)

My room is my castle.
It has three solid walls,
and a fourth, with a big window.
It is very warm and comforting
and sometimes I'm alone in it
and sometimes I have friends with me.
It's a very good way of living
when you're old and getting tired,
because always the situation can fit
your present needs. It has moveable walls
and a very high ceiling
and if you wish you can reach for the stars.
With the stars come many, many memories
of a life that was young
and not so young and very old.

A day at the seaside had lovely memories.
A bright new metal spade,
a large red-blue bucket that held enough water
to fill the moat built around the sandcastle.
Searching for somethng to make a flag on top
and then building a moat
with a drawbridge at the opening of the castle.
Hastening to fetch enough pails of water
to fill the moat before the sea actually
reached the castle.
And then watching the waves become nearer and nearer
eventually to consume the scene.
Then a clean palate
and we could build again.

Time is always here whether we want it or not.
And it's up to us to make it work. It could work for good
or it can work for evil. And it's up to us every one of us,
every one of us to make it work for good
because good is infectious, and if you spread a little good
and it gets warmed by the sun. And sprinkled in the rain
then you have a very good prescription for a happy life.
So water your thoughts and shine them with sun
and then you will find that life is good, good, good.

These are five things you should know about dementia, five things that I for one believe are worth committing to memory;

With support, people with dementia can and do take an active role in life. Start a conversation - set the ball rolling. Discard outworn beliefs built on the conventional wisdom.

And, finally, this is a good space to broadcast the latest news from the new (virtual) College of Wellbeing - a great early bird offer. Visit Chris Johnson's beautiful website for more about an extraordinarily innovative course at the link below or go direct to UDEMY.com, the host. See you there on SATURDAY. Value for money ... I rather think so ...

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You see, when I identify with the guy in the mirror, he turns his back on the world. He says, “I’ve got enough troubles of my own. Keep out.” The One you really are never can turn her back on the world. She embraces the world. She is the world. This is not because you are special; you always were this way. (Douglas Harding. Face to No-Face.)

A new book celebrating l,000 years of the cathedral is witness to the extraordinary artistry and passion dedicated to making the building a treasure house. This is a story told by 30 contributors, all witness to the pride of place cathedrals retain in the community.

A KISS FROM A ROSE

THE WELLBEING CONSULTANCY

'You Mean the World to Me'

A KISS FROM A ROSE

'I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray'